No stitches, just platelets and will power
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
