Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
