is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
