even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
