I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
