Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
