If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
