Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
