I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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