i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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