so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
