We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just cropdusted the office
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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