ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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