none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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