the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
