loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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