I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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