you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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