We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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