A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize