hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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