She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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