why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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