SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
