I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
