I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize