fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
