did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
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Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
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I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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