I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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