im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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