i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We had sex on a dog bed..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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