One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think your dad took our porno
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
