As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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