yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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