just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
