wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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