please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize