Did you just see the Batmobile???
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
