upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
