Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
