I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
