I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
