I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
