I think my vagina is haunted
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Let's get the cat blown out
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
