Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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