I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
