I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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