Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
