all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
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My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We left the knife in your bed.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
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Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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