Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
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