I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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