i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
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