would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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