so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you traded sex for a burrito?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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