i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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