Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
