70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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