I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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