I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
