I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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