I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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